A Brief History

Hi, Today I decided to finally create a blog! Yay!! I hope you find something interesting about me and my life as a Transgender Woman.

I guess I should start with a little story about the beginning, when I realized I was TG. I don't know the exact period in my life but I remember as early as age 3 dressing as a girl, my sisters and I would play dress up and I would love it! I would get the frilly cute dresses and we would have tea parties and have cakes in the EasyBake oven, it was soo fun it always was the most enjoyable times to me! I remember that after moving to a new state by age 4 I met my first new friend, a cute dark hair boy a little shorter than me. I'm really not to sure why but he wanted to play a game where I would be a girl and he would be a boy, nothing sexual we were 4!!lol.. I told him to call me Sarah! We ended up just digging a hole in the back yard..hmmm..IDK about that one.. I just knew that Sarah was the name I should've had. When I got home I was in instant trouble for using Dad's tools with out his permission and got spanked for leaving them out! I was hurt and just decided not to share any more about my day.

Fast forward, buy the time I was a pre-teen I knew I was different than other boys, they always wanted to play football or basketball or soccer and be rough. I hated it,I was usually playing with the females on the swing set or just standing around and talking to the other girls. I sometimes felt awkward that I felt like I wanted to be a girl, even though I was much bigger than they were and usually much bigger than any of the boys. I would get picked on by the guys and then often the girls would pick on me as well and wouldn't want me to hang out with them b/c the boys were always coming over fighting with me. When I was at home my older sisters no longer wanted to treat me like a little sister and began to see me as a male=(. I still had the desire to dress and when I did I felt at peace with myself.

My teen years the desire to feel feminine had increased and tried to take over, each day was a struggle to hide my feeling that i was in the wrong body! I was once again the tallest and biggest person anyone in my HS had seen and was always singled out by coaches and alpha males. I never wanted to be violent or aggressive and tried to use humor to avoid situations that were. I hated the person I saw in the mirror and wanted so much to see the person in my heart when I looked into the mirror. I was angry all the time b/c I had to hide my real feelings. I made friends that were outcasts or picked on for being different. I knew the pain they felt inside!


I was hiding my heart from the whole world,I spent every moment making sure I put a brick wall around my heart so no one could ever see the person I was hiding inside. About four years ago after years of hate toward myself I met a friend, a female. I was determined to prove I had what it took to be a MAN, i was gonna meet with her and I would finally prove I could get rid of the feeling of wanting to be a female, by being with a female. I was unsuccessful, but she and I were laughing about a few impersonations, when I "impersonated" one of my sisters. She stopped laughing and her face looked serious, she said "that was too good" she didn't believe me when I tried to make excuses and cover up. She knew I was female inside my heart and could see it! I was scared but admitted that all my life I had been struggling with a secret; I was a female in my heart.


My beginning: I decided to stop hiding and stop hating myself and came out to friends and family. I began HRT January 14th on 2011 and have been pushing forward since!